


Just You Wait

by ThisFicIsNowMyLife



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst I guess, I failed, I feel bad about this, I regret this, Sickness, This isn't happy, why can't I write happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 13:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10877442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisFicIsNowMyLife/pseuds/ThisFicIsNowMyLife
Summary: Yo, this is all about Hamilton remembering his past. I doubt it, but you just MIGHT tear up.





	Just You Wait

**Author's Note:**

> This is first person from Hamilton's point of view.

"On Tuesday the 27th, my son was killed in a gunfight..." _John died, John is dead, Ill never see him again... why, Lord, why must you take everyone I love?!_ I screamed in my head, I never was able to take a break, right when life seems to be going right, everything goes wrong again. I drowned out the words spoken by my wife, my mind taking me back in time.

/Flashback/

A young boy the age of twelve laid in bed next to his mother, they were deathly ill, everyone said there was almost no chance they would survive. The boy's mother pulled him close to her, her breathing labored and, gasping, told him, "Alex, goodbye, I'm leaving." In his state of illness, the child's, Alex's, my mind was unable to comprehend what she had told me. "When are you coming back?" "Oh my dear child, I can't come back." "Then I'm coming with you, mama! Don't leave me like daddy did, I'm coming with you!" I cried out. My mother turned me to face her, "No, you can't come with me, the angels aren't ready for you yet, you know why? Because you're Alexander Hamilton, and there's a million things you haven't done, but just you wait, I may not come back to see you here, but I will wait for you, I will stand by those big pearly gates and wait, I won't budge until you come to me, but don't you come too quickly, you have your whole life ahead of you, child, and I couldn't bear it if you had to die younger than you need to. The first chance you get, I want you to get out of this hellhole and go to college, make something of yourself. You have the makings of greatness, Alex, do not throw away your shot because of me!" she gave a great gasp and her face contorted in pain, "I love you, Alexander, don't forget it..." and suddenly, she was still and her grasp on me went limp. "Mama? Mama, are you okay?" I began to cry, "Mama! Don't die! No!" I cried, I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, and when my tears dried up, I screamed, I screamed at God, I screamed at the world, I screamed at the illness that had taken my mother away from me. I learned earlier than a child should how cold and cruel the world is, I learned that love can't save people, that love isn't enough, and I swore never to let someone I love die again. _Well, God, are you happy now? I've broken my own promise,_ I thought. I didnt know if I could do this... and I heard my mother's voice in my head, do not throw away your shot, and I knew, even if I couldn't keep one promise, I could dedicate my life to making sure I never forgot my mother's dying words and kept them close to my heart.

/Flashback/

"Alexander, are you alright?" Eliza asked, worry etched in her face. "I have work to do..."

/Bam, that was ALL a flashback and you didn't see it coming/

And I did, I had work to do, and I did it, I got drawn into my work, I retreated into what I did best, but now, 32 years later, I found I couldn't even keep my new promise, my dedication, because now, 32 years after my most beloved friend died and I broke my first promise, I, Alexander Hamilton, throw away my shot as I point my gun towards the sky. A shot rings around the dueling ground, and I fall.


End file.
